My Air, My life
by I'm An Exclamation Mark
Summary: My try on how it would have went when Trella is captured by the Controllers. There are some talking of a KIND of sexual abuse, but nothing TOO serious. Enjoy and R&R!


**Hi there! Just a little something that I _couldn't _help writing. You know, when you just _have _to write it down, because you just _can't _get it out of your head? Those kind of stories are those of success. :D ;) :P**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own these characters, but it _is _me who've invented the plot line. **

**Anyway, enjoy it! I hope you like it ...**

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><p>The feeling was terrible. Humiliating. I had never felt more helpless in my entire life. I felt like I could just scream the entire event out of my head.<p>

The inevitable had happened I wasn't horror I was feeling right now, it was fright. Pure, ice cold fright, running through my veins, making me feel dead. Just dead. – Or rather wishing I was dead.

And worst of all: I _felt _as if I wanted it. My body was _yearning_ for it. It was craving it, like a thirsty man in a desert craving for the water he needed. That was the point where I truly lost hope. It flew away like dust in the wind. My own mind was dead, thoroughly taken control of.

Whenever I saw that _X, _my mind went into overdrive. The fear mixed with the constant pleasure, was exhilarating. It sent a chill running down my spine, and my stomach would tighten in anticipation every time. The next time they came around, some part of me felt like a pet. A cute little pet dog, with her tongue rolling out of the corner of her mouth, and tail wagging back and forth. And her _eager _eyes trying to please her **master. **

The other part was yelling at me. The part that probably _was _me, but at the moment my body had taken control, and my mind was nothing but gooey. It was angry and it wanted it's control back. Cute-Petdog wouldn't let it. Cute-Petdog was lapping, practically _licking _her **master's **feet.

*****Line*****

When Ponife came around the next time, something different happened from all the other times. He came in, closed and locked the door and stood in front of me, with a smile on his chalky lips.

In his hands was _the X. _I smiled, expecting him to start quickly like the other times. When he didn't, I groaned frustrated.

"Ma – Master." My voice came out as raspy, with a tint of confusion in it. I didn't understand. Would he like _me _to pleasure _him _this time. I had done that before. I could do it again.

It wasn't exactly bad. It was _good _in fact. I didn't understand the feeling, and I certainly didn't understand _why, _but It did nonetheless. It felt _wonderful_. The old me would probably have wondered _where _they got all of those ideas in the outer space, with nothing to do, but that part was gone.

Now my mind didn't care _how _or _why, _but only about getting my fix. _My _pleasure. Ponife leaned down and I felt my cheeks spread into a wide smile.

"Trella … My sweet, sweet Trealla." His _delicious _voice spoke, " How have you been?"

_How had I been? How had I – _Mmhm … Ponife twisted _the X _and it wasn't _just _as 'mmhm' anymore. Instead I felt _just _normal enough to answer.

"I've been good, mhmm, _good._"

Ponife smiled.

"Good girl Trella. Now I'm going to ask some … Questions. Hm? And you're going to answer them." He didn't even bother asking if I was okay with it, before pleasure once again, started flowing through my veins.

"Will I – Will I – Get rewarded?" Ponife looked lost in thought, considering my question.

"Hm. Yes, yes you will," he finally answered, "if," _if? _" you answer truthfully. Can you do that for me Trella?" Cute-Little-Petdog leaped up, practically licking herself around the lips, and I could only nod in answer.

"Good. Now Trella, _wher is Jacy and Riley?" _Jacy? Riley? My mind didn't recognize any of those things he mentioned. It took me a moment to gather myself, and when I had I knew my answer.

" I don't know." Ponife hummed a little and stared at me with a weird glint in his eys. Suddenly fireworks exploded all over my body, and I moaned in response.

"Are you sure about that, Trella?"

The pleasure and warmth increased and I managed to nod through the whimpering coming from my throat. "Hm. Wrong answer."

Ponife twisted _the X, _and suddenly it wasn't pleasure exploding through my body, but mind numbing, brain blowing pain. A scream formed in my throat and I reached down, trying to shut the fire coming off my body. Ponife's smile was twisted as he yelled over my screams.

" Tell me Trella! Tell me where they are and you will be rewarded!"

Sobs came racking through my body, because honestly? I didn't _know _where they were. I didn't even know _who _they were.

"_Tell me Trella! Tell me!" _

I screamed again and after what seemed like hours of _'I don't know!' _and _'Tell me!', _I finally passed out.

*****Line*****

I awoke again with a splitting headache. The doors was locked again, and Ponife was gone. I took a moment to look around and to look at the damage that had been done. What amazed me were that there _were_ no marks on my skin.

After hours of torture and pain like I had never felt it before, this had all just been in my _head_? I had _imagined_ it?

_No, _I decided. I could still feel waves of pain now and then, all over my body, so it _couldn't _have been my imagination. Just to be sure I checked one extra time for extra damaged parts of my body, and once again I came up with nothing. I groaned and turned onto my side, with my hands resting over my eyes. I suddenly felt something sharp dig into my thigh and rolled over. A small silver chain was hanging out of my pocket.

I picked it up and examined it closely. I didn't know why, but I felt like I had seen it before. I wondered idly of _where _I could have seen it, and once again came up with nothing. Then nothing but twenty second later something irked in my mind. Riley, Riley giving it to me, Me pressing myself against Riley … Me pressing the little shaped thing hanging on the chain, Riley going down – Riley!

Oh … Oh god. Thousands of questions swirled in my mind. They were questions like, 'what if he was caught?', 'what if he was … Dead?" They were all 'what if's', and they weren't really helping my case.

Fishing the sheep pendant out of my pocket, I held it up close to my heart, and pressed down on it…

*****Line*****

I counted an hour, and thirty three minutes, before a clank sounded from above my head. Some rustling and another clank, and then the cover slid off, and landed on the floor, with a thud.

I quickly looked around, scared of Ponife suddenly poking his head out saying "It's a joke! You really thought you could escape?", but nothing seemed to happen. _Huh. _Apparently they trusted I wasn't foolish enough to escape. Good.

Instead of Ponife, Logan suddenly poked his head out of the vent, and looked at me with big brown, and concerned eyes.

"Trella?" He asked. "Is it really you? Are you alright? Jesus, of course not, I …" He looked around taking in the room. " I'm coming down alright? Stay still."

He rolled around a little and then came tumbling down. He looked at me hesitantly, almost as if afraid to come any closer. As if I would burst if he did.

I nodded at him, and he took three mini steps, and lowered himself down at eyelevel. I was still crouched down with my knees drawn to my chest, and with my arms around me. Now when Logan was here, it all just seemed to come tumbling down on me.

I let out a long wail and Logan picked me up from the floor. "Ssh Trella. I'm so sorry, but you have to be quiet alright? Ssh …" But I couldn't stop. It was now I started feeling all the humiliation and pain, while I hadn't been able to feel it earlier.

Now while I was able to control myself – partly anyways – and I was able to feel my _own _emotions, I knew what those feelings were named. They were named _fear, Horror and Disgust. _And now, when I could let it all out, I just _did. _

We squirmed and squeezed to get through the airvents, and while _I _wasn't really a big help, it seemed that Logan had gotten a lot stronger the past couple of weeks, while I had been In 'custody'.

While Logan carried me, I finally noticed where we were. We were near sector four close Riley's and I's storeroom. Would Riley be there?

I tugged at Logan's sleeve letting him know where I wanted to go. He seemed reluctant, but finally caved in, while I led the way.

When we finally came through, I knocked and kicked at the vents cover, not really in my right mind to just take the screws off. Finally something seemed to get loose, and it fell off on the floor with a loud _cling! _

And as I stood face to face with Riley, I knew one thing: I had been stupid. Too stupid to care, too stupid to just realize how much I _loved _this man that stood in front of me. Stupid how it had taken this much of a hassle to make me realize it.

I burst through the vent, and nearly knocked Riley over in the process. He laugh-cried and held his arms out to steady me. "Trella!" He hummed over and over again, like a silent prayer, while I held on to him with all the power in me.

At one point, sorrow seemed to be ready to drown me at any moment, but at the same time, I seemed ready to _burst _with just happiness, of just being here in Riley's arms.

He was like air. I didn't know what to do without, I couldn't _function _without, and when he was gone … I tried anyway to breathe him in, even though it seemed impossible.

He was all I needed. He was … Riley.

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><p><strong>Okay ... Tell me, did you like the ending? 'Cause I was actually in a bit of a hurry when I wrote <em>that <em>part, so ... What do 'ya think?**

**Oh, and while we are at it, I was thinking of _maybe _making it _more _than a one-shot? Please tell me what you think! **

**And last but not least ... Review! Would you be nice to do that? I really want to know what you think! **

**Oh well ... **

**Bye! :D ;) :P 3**


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